The digital age of connection: the biggest oxymoron of our time

There is an arguable debate that our digital age makes it easier for people to connect. Emails, messaging apps, social media platforms, dating apps, and even video games have become the social norms for connecting. However, the suicide rate continues to rise in the United States. Perhaps we are missing a very obvious and overlooked point

Human interaction is a fundamental element of connection. It is also an integral part of the health of our country. Consider important parts of society such as: education, medicine, law, police/fire/ems, and national security. To operate successfully in any of these fields, human interaction is required.

Yet we continue to place such tremendous value on technology that our skill sets are becoming obsolete. In our quest for time optimization, we have created suboptimal methods for establishing and maintaining healthy connections. Every year that we advance technologically, we move further and further away from true connection. The results are higher rates of anxiety, depression and suicide.

Families text from room to room in their own homes. Online courses are becoming a primary source of education. Texting is seen as an acceptable way for couples and spouses to communicate with each other and online relationships are now seen as intimate forms of connection. We are losing contact with each other and, at the same time, losing the building blocks necessary for health in society.

Reduce to the basics, you cannot digitize the human connection. Manners cannot be learned from online platforms. Love cannot be fostered exclusively through words written on electronic screens. Respect cannot be taught through a Marvel movie or YouTube video. Health cannot be learned by looking at fit bodies on Instagram. And healthcare cannot happen offline. Now consider the tremendous irony of our digital age regarding receiving help or support.

When someone is in an emotional or psychological crisis, we implore people to open up and talk about how they feel. We tell our children, our students, our colleagues, our families and our public servants to communicate. Here is the logical and obvious question that is continually overlooked. How do you expect someone to reach out and connect when their core engagement habits have left them so disconnected?

Seriously consider the gap at stake here. We are asking someone who is suffering to miraculously access and/or suddenly acquire a vulnerability skill set to connect using a method that is no longer the norm. And to further complicate the already daunting challenge, suddenly challenging your own connection habits. The expectation is that someone will easily communicate when they require a connection in a way that has become so alien not only in sentiment but also in their actual neural encoding.

Please continue to ponder these points when you find yourself so shocked by the number of children and adolescents taking their own lives, as well as members of the military, law enforcement, and first responders in our country. Life is precious, but we are giving more value to technology.

Don’t wait for the crisis to understand the connection, or the lack of it, in your lives. Take the time to slow down. Take the time to learn to connect. Start with yourself, then your families, and as crazy as it sounds, start reflecting on your community and making connections. Technology does not breathe. You do it, your peers do it, your teachers do it, your partners do it, your neighbors do it. Stay connected. It’s a matter of life or death

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