Suicide. Most of us know little or nothing about this tragedy. What we think we know is also probably wrong. More than a million people around the world die by suicide each year. The risk of suicide is partly genetic and often accompanies agonizing mental problems.

Suicide is not cowardly, vindictive, or selfish. This is not “suppressed anger.” Many suicide threats are eventually followed by successful attempts.

Some problems with some common myths about suicide:

• Suicidal people are crazy: In reality, they only feel a lot of pain. You don’t have to be drunk, psychotic, insane, or delusional to be suicidal.
• It’s just a cry for help: People who talk about suicide often commit suicide. It is quite useless as a risk indicator.
• People who want to commit suicide are just trying to manipulate others.: These people really need help. They are not well. To say that “they’re just trying to get something out of it” is ignorant and insensitive.
• It happens without any warning sign.: There are almost always warning signs.
• Children never think of doing it: Does a 10-year-old count? Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15-24 year olds.

What I hope is a more balanced and compassionate vision. Let’s encourage empathy and education instead of ignorance and judgment.

Why Knowing the Facts Helps Others and Even Saves Lives:

• Wanting to die means that you are suffering: People who think that death is their only option are suffering terribly. They are deeply concerned and deserve help.
• Take the talk seriously: If you think someone is suicidal, urge them to call 911 or go to your local emergency room. Encourage them to call a suicide hotline like 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433) gold 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).
• Look at them with compassion: Wanting to die is a burden enough for these poor people. They shouldn’t bear the brunt of our combined judgment as well.
• Look for red flags: There are almost always signs that someone is suicidal. Often we just don’t see them. Warning signs include talking or writing about killing or hurting yourself, talking a lot about or being obsessed with death, and pursuing dangerous hobbies like drugs or weapons.
• Educate your children: Young people should be taught that feeling suicidal is not shameful. They should be encouraged to talk about these feelings, both for our own well-being and theirs.

Unbearable suffering is what suicide tries to escape. A suicidal person cannot imagine relief except through death, yet most suicidal people are in conflict about ending their lives. They may not really want to die, but the painful feelings may stop. They want an alternative that they often just can’t see.