Self-centered, vain, conceited, self-centered: these are some of the variations of the idea of ​​being a narcissist. We need a healthy degree of positive self-esteem, of course, but when it’s distorted, it’s considered narcissism, a personality disorder in its extreme form.

Several actors have spoken about some of the issues with being too self-obsessed and how it interferes with creative expression.

Ben Affleck believes that narcissism is “the one quality that unites everyone in the film industry, whether you’re an actor, producer, director or studio executive.”

But he adds: “It’s a nightmare. Narcissism is the part of my personality that I’m least proud of.”

Kristen Bell says that for her film “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” she “just dug deep into the hardest to admit, vulnerable or bad traits of my own personality and what an actress can become if given that kind of self-indulgence.” or that amount of vanity.”

He also believes that actors, and especially actresses, tend to be self-obsessed, because that’s part of the nature of their career.

But what is narcissism? The basic idea is to be obsessively self-centered, always putting your own needs first, with no empathy or appreciation for the needs of others, etc. But what is behind someone who operates that way?

Alice Miller writes in her book The Drama of the Gifted Child about the childhood damage that leads to a compromised emotional life as an adult, including those types of behaviors and thoughts.

She writes in the book about “how inconceivable it is to really love others (not just need them), if one cannot love oneself as one really is.”

It can be difficult for an actor to maintain contact with and love for their authentic self, if they continually play “other people” and receive attention or even fame for those personalities.

Stephen Sherrill writes in his New York Times article Acquired Situational Narcissism about how fame can stimulate narcissism.

He refers to the work of Robert B. Millman, a professor of psychiatry at Cornell Medical School, who developed the idea of ​​”acquired situational narcissism.”

Sherrill explains: “People who aspire to stardom tend to be more narcissistic than others, but they don’t develop true narcissistic personality disorder until they start to find success: the first platinum album, the first appearance on ‘Young Hollywood’ by Vanity Fair issue, first public fling with Winona Ryder.”

Having these kinds of narcissistic tendencies doesn’t mean you’re “crazy” or necessarily need therapy.

But it can be helpful for our emotional growth and power as creative people to be more aware of how we operate emotionally and mentally.

Richard Gere once commented, “The older I get, the less I become this self-centered thing that’s prone to anger and hate and all that other stuff. The trick is to get out of the way of the ego, so that everything of value illuminating inside of you, me, the waiter or anyone else. The creative person’s job is to get out of the way.”

Actress Vera Farmiga warns: “This business is hard, it’s very hard. But first and foremost, ego always gets in the way. You have to control that, you have to.”

There are many excellent personal growth books on emotional intelligence, spirituality, mindfulness, and positive psychology that can help any of us develop healthy self-esteem.