This writing may offend some people, but sometimes the truth must necessarily be painful to bring about change. You have been warned.

We have all seen it. A bold and confident black woman who looks great from a distance and knows what she wants from life. Flawless makeup, expensive Brazilian wavy hair, beautifully manicured hands and feet, designer clothes, and powerful ambition. However, she fast forward to bedtime and let’s see what happens. She puts on her headscarf, removes her makeup… and what is usually left is a woman with no eyebrows, uneven skin tone (with acne scars), who looks nothing like the black goddess who we mentioned before. In fact, the truth is often a terrifying sight, even to the owner of the face, let alone the partner, husband, or lover of a black woman! It’s almost as if a large number of black women care more about the illusion of looking flawless than taking the necessary steps to have a beauty regimen that makes them look and be flawless in reality. Weaves, oversized false eyelashes, heavy makeup, and foundation have become more of a mascara for black women who want to exude an image of beauty, rather than accentuate or enhance established beauty.

In the current paradigm of black women’s beauty, there seems to be no focus on the power of black women’s natural beauty or femininity, as an archetype of female beauty.

Sadly, the lack of respect many black women have for men in general is reflected in the fact that they don’t take care of themselves once their makeup is off. Relationships are built within the confines of a home, and having a nice attitude and looking nice without makeup is of the utmost importance. What women in general and black women in particular forget is that men are highly visual creatures. They need visual stimulation and security. Just because you look fantastic, when you have your makeup on, it’s the morning after that counts. It’s similar when the nightclub lights come on, and there’s a collective gasp of horror from the men, who have discovered that the woman they had been dancing with, in the dark, looks like Satan on a bad day, in the light.

And so it is, with a relationship. If you, as a black woman, look “great” when you go out, and your face is covered in foundation, but at home, without makeup, your skin is blemished, uneven, full of blemishes and acne…isn’t it To miss? , that a man will leave you, after a while, based on the fact that men are visually driven. Easy.

For your own respect and to give yourself an edge, to maintain a relationship… you have to invest in your skin, with a focused black skin care regimen. You have to invest in getting your skin to look flawless. The time is over to focus on using honey blonde weaves, cheap acrylic nails, and too much foundation or powder. It’s finished. Finish. Done.

White and Asian women invest in taking care of their skin, and black women should do the same. There is a reason they do.

There has to be a new paradigm for black women, including the use of scrubs, face masks, deep moisturizers, acne treatments, complexion creams, blemish treatments that will cleanse the skin and make it look flawless. Black women have beautiful, almost angelic skin if they take care of it, but many have no interest in actually taking care of it. Black women have enviable, deep, rich skin, and they have a responsibility to take care of it. Black women need to invest in their skin to ensure they look flawless at all times, and more importantly, where it matters most in a relationship: at home. Men need to see beautiful women. Men have an innate need to adore female beauty, and Black women have a responsibility to make sure they look beautiful, to keep him interested, focused, and faithful. Why would a man look anywhere else, when his wife, partner and lover is flawless, even without makeup?

Investing in your skin will help you keep your man, because he will see the pure beauty in its natural state, instead of being horrified. Every time you take your makeup off, leaving him thinking, how will he get out of the relationship or look for another woman, as long as he tolerates you. Respect yourself, invest in your skin and you will see how your love life improves in all facets.