Getting women’s phone numbers isn’t much of an accomplishment, but many men consider it very important, and men often compare each other’s success to women’s by the number of phone numbers each got from women.

First, I personally don’t think getting a girl’s phone number provides much information about her interest in you. It doesn’t even mean you’re going on a date; in fact, it’s very likely that she won’t even answer your calls. It all depends on the interaction you had.

However, getting a girl’s number is still a step up, and in fact the only conventional way to continue an interaction with a girl you’ve randomly met.

You see, no matter how fun and smart you’ve been with a girl: if you don’t get her phone number, chances are you won’t see her again.

Attraction takes time for women

I recently wrote a post on the topic of attraction, and the main idea is that women and men have different attraction mechanisms, that is, we are attracted to different things.

Have you noticed what makes women attract you? Is the face beautiful? The size of her breasts? Her cleavage? His butt? Anyway, the idea is that men are primarily attracted to a woman. physical looks. This is how we are biologically designed.

But women are different. Of course, having a beautiful face can make a girl notice you, but all psychology studies, and also the experience of many men, show that women are mainly attracted to men. behavior.

What kind of behavior? Women are attracted to the masculine traits and qualities of men. These are qualities such as strength, leadership, social skills and many others.

This article is not really about attraction, but what you need to understand here is that you can be attracted to a girl in a matter of seconds, simply because of her appearance.

But women need much more time. A girl will rarely know that she wants to see you again after a few seconds. Women need time to feel if they are attracted to you or not.

That’s why asking for a girl’s number too soon means she’s going to reject you. It’s as simple as that.

So give him plenty of time (at least 10 minutes) to get to know you first, before asking for his number.

The importance of showing interest

There is a common belief among men, that in order to make a girl want you, you must not show her any interest.

Now, while it might be a good tactic not to show interest immediately when you approach a girl, it’s a bad idea not to show any interest at all.

Think about a woman’s point of view: a guy, who was quite funny and interesting, doesn’t seem to show any interest in her and yet asks for her number. That could mean:

“He’s desperate, and therefore he’ll date any girl, even if he doesn’t like her.”

“He just wants to have sex, because that’s probably the only thing he likes about me…”

So a girl would think that you are desperate or just want to have sex with her. Both options are not very good for you.

Instead, you should tell a girl that you like her and show interest in her. I know the reason you like her is probably her looks, but you better find something deeper in her. It may be something that she did or said during the interaction.

You might say, “Wow, I can’t believe you play the piano. I love musically talented girls.”

Make it sound sincere and genuine. Women love to receive compliments, especially if it’s not about their appearance.

Be specific: the number is just a bridge

My experience dating women has shown me that girls have some objection to giving out their phone number to guys. There’s no real explanation for that, but since so many men awkwardly ask for her phone number, she developed an immediate “no” response to it.

What I have personally used with great success is to not ask him for his number directly. Instead, ask him out on a date with you, or even better, “go out for some beer/wine.” Women tend to have fewer objections to these offers.

The model for such a conversation would sound like this:

You: “Wow, I love the fact that you volunteer for Green Peace. I love women who believe in strong values… By the way, what are you doing on Tuesday night?”

She: “Emmmm, nothing specific…why?

You: “Well, I have a plan: why don’t we go out and have a beer Tuesday night?

She: “OK great”.

That’s all. Now that you have a date, getting her number is a piece of cake. Just ask him for his number and you will get it.