No matter what stage of life you are in, it is not always easy to make new friends. In school, college or university, making friends is relatively easy, even for shy people, since the people are the same age, with fairly similar interests, in the same place. However, making friends later in life can be much more difficult. There may be colleagues at work, people you meet at the gym, someone you hang out with every day, acquaintances at the pub, but how many of them are your real friends? How many would you trust with a secret or a problem? For people who have moved to a new city, or whose relationship circumstances have changed, having to make new friends can be an overwhelming prospect. Following these tips can help make finding new friends a little easier.

1) Do something! Don’t wait for new friends to appear all of a sudden. They will not. Enroll in an evening course and you can learn a new language, become a wine expert, improve your culinary skills, or make better use of your computer in just a few weeks. Find a gym, play sports at a local sports center or field, join a movie club, learn to dance, practice a martial art, or volunteer. Go to work at night, whatever instead of spending another night in front of the TV.

2) If you can’t find a hobby or social activity that interests you, why not see if there is a Friends Society or Friendship Club nearby? This is a great way to meet people and can be invaluable if you’ve moved to a new city and don’t know anyone. In addition to like-minded people, these clubs offer many social activities and social group events that can range from quiz nights at a local pub to trips abroad, and can include special offers on products like health insurance.

3) Although easier said than done, try not to be shy when meeting people for the first time, even if you feel that you lack confidence. When you’re in a social situation, try taking the first step, and other shy people will be glad you’ve broken the ice. Remember to listen more than you talk, as people generally like to talk about themselves, so give them a chance, but don’t talk about yourself unless they ask. Ask lots of questions, but nothing too personal or controversial. You can ask them how they got to be invited, or how they know the host, about their work, their hobbies, musical, film and television tastes, and more. Be yourself and try not to change just to fit in. Accept that you won’t like everyone you talk to and that you won’t like everyone.

4) You may be able to tell something about a person by the way they dress or what they carry with them. If someone brings a camera, listens to a portable music player, reads a book or magazine, walks a dog, or pushes a stroller, they may have something else to talk about.

5) Try asking open-ended questions like “What do you think of …?” instead of “Do you like …?” as they require a more detailed response and encourage conversation. Questions that require a yes or no answer do not facilitate the conversation.

6) Like-minded people can often become friends. If you’ve always wanted to do something different or start a new activity, this might be the ideal time. From rappelling to zoology, there is likely a local club or society that you can join. For example, if you play a musical instrument, why not visit a local music store and see if you can find a band to join or musicians to play with? If you are an avid reader, why not join a book club? Volunteering can be very rewarding if you have free time. If you are an animal lover, there may be an animal rescue center that you can help out with. Bike shops usually have information on local routes and the local cycling club. Getting to know your neighbors can also be an easy way to make friends.

7) You can also make friends online using social networking sites or chat rooms. However, these types of friendships are not usually the same as real-life friendships. You may have fun talking to someone in a foreign country who likes the same music and movies as you, but this friend probably won’t be able to drive you if your car won’t start.

8) Once you’ve made friends, don’t forget to get a phone number or email address, and be positive! Communicate with your new friend, but don’t be upset if he’s too busy or unable to meet with you for a while. Remember not to appear clingy or desperate. If you have the opportunity to make more friends, do so, don’t feel like you have to depend on just one person.

9) It is important to be honest, trustworthy and trustworthy and not to divulge too much about yourself or other people. People also value loyalty and punctuality, so treat others as you would like to be treated. If you are late and start spilling secrets, repeating rumors, or spreading gossip, people will be less likely to be friendly with you and they may not trust you again.

10) In addition to good times, like going out for a drink or going to a concert, be prepared to help out when a friend really needs your help. Whether it’s a shoulder to cry on, an overnight trip home, or advice, friends need to be trusted and there may be a time when you have to be a true friend to someone who needs you.

Finding a good friend will not happen overnight and you will probably have to work hard to maintain friendships. Sometimes a friend won’t be able to see you for a while and sometimes that friend will want to see you every day. Some people need time for themselves and others don’t.

Remember that you can still contact your old friends by phone or email, even if you no longer live near them. Besides the phone calls and emails, why not make a special effort to see them every now and then for a weekend or vacation?

Friendships can last a lifetime, and there are many people who still keep in touch with people who are thousands of miles apart. Get out there, find new friends, and enjoy a hectic social life!