Is trust really dead? Or does it just seem that way?

My grandmother always told me “never trust anyone who doesn’t look you in the eye”. My grandfather always told me “never trust anyone who looks you in the eye because she is going to put her hand in your pocket”. So what is a young child to think about trust? My dad said “he comes down to living and learning”. I’m sure all of these were meant to be useful.

We’ve all been burned by confidence at some point, some more than others. At a young age, we would say something to our best friend with complete trust, only for that trust to be broken later on. We couldn’t understand why and in the process we probably lost a friend. As we get older, we find that it happens more frequently and usually with bigger problems.

So we accumulate these little trust scars. These scars cannot be seen on our skin but are always present in our hearts and psyches. After a while, many of us lose faith in trusting another human being. It has become clear that self-interest and personal agenda have become much more important than trust for many people.

It used to be that a simple handshake was all it took to seal a deal. Now you need reams of paper and a team of lawyers to protect your interests. Oddly enough, I still do handshake deals, and for the most part they stick. I may have some additional scars from those who didn’t, but overall I think we can trust more than we trust.

I know, I know, someone is pronouncing “romantic fool” right now. Just so you know I don’t trust everyone I meet. We have an additional sense built into ourselves that emits warning vibrations. My wife is especially adept at sensing who not to trust, and she has a great track record with her sixth sense in this regard. Hers is better than mine. At one point in my life, when I was interviewing someone for a high-ranking position, I would invite the couple to dinner with my wife and myself. Her subsequent evaluation of her character weighed heavily in my decision to hire. It’s not just about talent, skill, and resume.

You know, when someone tells me they don’t trust anyone, they’re really telling me they don’t trust themselves. Isn’t that sad?

In business it’s hard to know who to trust, but you have to start somewhere. The best place to start is with those who report to you. This is your chance to perhaps make them into something more than they are or were. The best way to make them into something more is to give them responsibility and accountability while supporting their decisions. If you do this, your actions will let them know that you trust them. What better way to develop trustworthy people.

Naturally, we must always be attentive to the movements of people. It’s not what people say but what they do that counts, so watch your movements carefully. By the way, your children are constantly watching you. They are watching to see if your actions follow what you tell them to do. This is how they really learn from you. People watching isn’t just fun, it’s enlightening.

With internet marketing it becomes much more difficult to trust. There are so many street vendors and scammers out to get your money that you need to develop a special sixth sense just for that. If you don’t already have a sixth sense for internet marketing, start by developing a healthy sense of caution. It will save your rear and your money over and over again. I got an email the other day offering something great for $1. Sometimes these are real and sometimes they are not. This turned out to be a partial reality. You only had to pay $1 to get the information, but the sequence was that it would also cost you $37 per month after that. I did not participate in this offer because I did not like the approach. I didn’t think it was worth the risk to trust this seller.

On the other hand, I’ve been following a vendor’s blog and getting a lot of great free advice for a while now. Then I got an email offering me one of their sales themes for free. I followed the link and downloaded the theme and a video on how to use it. It turned out to be a great tool. A week later, I received an email from him again, only this time offering me the opportunity to purchase a course he had written on how to make money on small product sales websites. The cost was $97. I bought it right away for a reason. This vendor had been giving me great free advice for a while and he also provided me with free tools. I reasoned that his course would be valuable to my marketing plan. He had created a level of trust in me that told me it was okay to buy. I was right! I bought because this seller had learned the value of giving before receiving.

Therefore, I recommend caution and an internet marketing approach that will hopefully reduce the number of scars you accumulate and increase the number of good people you meet online. May it also guide your own marketing efforts and allow you to gain the Trust of those who decide to follow you.

My own philosophy towards trust with people I know personally is quite simple. Unless my sixth sense is awakened, I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to trust them. I find this to be much easier with much less stress and effort than the alternative. However, if they violate my trust, they have a huge uphill battle to regain trust. The point of truth is that none of those who have violated my trust have regained the level of trust that I originally freely gave.

I think Trust is alive and well; it just needs to be a part of our life and character every day.

Finally, never forget that “TRUST IS LIMITED TO THE SCOPE OF THE TRUTH”.

Yours in interweb business, friendship and service,

Tom (TR)Ryan

IMassistance