Self-confidence is a crucial element in public speaking success. You are not speaking just to hear yourself speak, you are speaking because you have something to say. Before you can grab the attention of your audience, you need to believe that you have a message worth hearing and that you have the ability to communicate it effectively. If you don’t believe it, your audience won’t believe it.
Self-confidence will come in handy, especially in those moments when you forget what you were going to say, someone asks an unexpected question, or something unexpected happens, like the projector lamp burns out or the laptop battery dies. You have to quickly decide what to say next, and having self-confidence allows you to tap into all your brainpower to solve problems. Lack of self-confidence will clog your brain with negative thoughts (“why didn’t I think of that? I’m an idiot!”), block your problem-solving abilities, and drive you to self-destruction under pressure.
As you build your public speaking confidence, there are three questions to consider:
1. What does the negative voice in your head tell you just before speaking in front of a group?
I call this voice “Joy-Sucker” because for most of the coaching clients I work with, it’s a nasty, negative voice that sucks the joy out of work and life. He says things like “who do you think you are?” and “no one wants to listen to you.” Instead of letting Joy-Sucker be the only channel playing on your internal radio station, you should change the channel and replace Joy-Sucker with a mantra, a positive phrase you can repeat to boost your confidence. A mantra could be something like “you can do it” or “you have something worth saying.” With time and practice, you’ll start to believe it and become strong enough to automatically drain your negative Joy-Sucker.
2. What advice would you give to a child or friend in a similar situation?
Would you say, “you’re an idiot, no one will listen to you” or “wow, you’re going to fail”? Of course not! It would be supportive and encouraging, and help them build their self-confidence through practice, feedback, and positive oral experiences. If you would never dare say these negative words to a child or friend, why do you say them to yourself? Why not treat yourself with the same care and gentleness that you treat others?
3. What are you really afraid of?
For many people who are afraid of public speaking, what they are really afraid of is totally out of proportion to the actual situation. For example, he thinks, “First I’ll give a bad five-minute presentation, then everyone will laugh at me, and then I’ll be fired and publicly humiliated.” Stop and think about how likely that is to happen. And even if the very unlikely worst-case scenario happened, could you face it and survive? Probably. Knowing that you can deal with it and survive should help you reduce the power of your fear.
Building your confidence in public speaking takes time and practice, but you can do it. You have to work on your public speaking skills, believe that you can succeed even before you experience success, and as you experience success, continue to develop your skills in a positive, reinforcing cycle.
